Continuation to Christmas:
I missed out on Christmas Day and the rest of my family because of the benzos I dipped into. I slept through presents, breakfast and lunch, then awoke and stumbled around my house in a daze, with a drowsy type hangover all over my body. I was awake in time for Christmas Dinner with my mother's side of the famjam, but because my father insisted he take me to the hospital to check me out, I spent the rest of the night there. My father talked to my boyfriend, and I proceeded to cry my eyes out on the phone with him when I got a chance to speak. Typical me, crying for help. Conor got in his car right away and drove to see me. Since we had already been waiting for three hours and nothing had happened, I was fine by then, I got to go home and as I arrived so did Conor. I spent the rest of my Christmas with my boyfriend, doing what I like to do best, just lay with him. I ended up crying again much later in the night when we were having a smoke together in the car before I was about to go to bed. I just broke down and got it all out. I strongly regret what I did. I was about to make a promise not to take any obscure pills again, but I can't even bring myself to promise that. Eventually, I'll just slip up again, so why bother?

I haven't written in a while, lots have changed.
New boyfriend, whom I love so dearly. I think he's the best boyfriend I've ever had, without a doubt.
Other than that, it's Christmas eve, basically Christmas now, and I just popped two Clonazepams, equalling out to 1 mg. My boyfriend will dump me if he ever finds out so I'm telling you so I won't have to blab about this to someone else. I have a bunch of them, I'm stocked! Conor said he would break up with me if anything went up my nose, in my veins, etc. Basically doesn't want me on any chemicals. I'm allowed to stick to weed and mushies once in a while. But yeah.... I just lied to him I guess. I feel kind of shitty but the benzos are kicking in.
Merry Christmas, and to you, a good night!